Golf course names should inspire and entice, shouldn’t they? Jeremy Ellwood unearths 10 American courses that struggle to really deliver on that front

Yes, all these weird and wonderful golf course names really do exist across The Pond…

In a world where branding is deemed so important, it’s hard to fathom how some of these American golf course names got through the board room vote. Some are down to the vagaries of local geography, but even so…

Dismal River

Okay, this Nebraska course is a Jack Nicklaus design and is situated by the Dismal River. But even so, synonyms of dismal include dingy, dim, dark, gloomy, sombre, dreary, drab, dull, desolate, bleak, cheerless, comfortless, depressing, grim, funereal, inhospitable, uninviting and unwelcoming.

Due Process Stable

This ultra-exclusive 1990s New Jersey club takes its name from the former horse farm it was built on apparently.

Dead Horse Lake

East Tennessee’s public course of the year in 2004. Legend has it that an explorer travelling through the area on horseback got his horse stuck in quicksand in the swampy area by today’s 3rd hole, with the dead horse filling the sinkhole and allowing what is now known as Dead Horse Lake to gradually form over the years.

Useless Bay

This Golf and Country Club lies on Whidbey Island, Washington. The bay got its name because it was too shallow for the tall ships of the early explorers.

Devils Knob

According to its website, ‘players leave Devils Knob, Virginia remembering narrow fairways, consistently excellent turf conditions and unsurpassed vistas’… and that name too, of course

Three Little Bakers

This tweely named course in Wilmington, Delaware has an excellent reputation locally. No knead to book; just roll up (sorry)…

Okay, more than three little bakers here, but you get the idea...

Okay, more than three little bakers here, but you get the idea…

Possum Trot

One of a vast swathe of virtually side-by-side golf courses in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, this quaintly name golf facility is apparently knows as, ‘The Friendliest Course on the Grand Strand’.

Kissing Camels

This 27-hole complex is just one of scores of courses in the spectacular Colorado Springs.

Spooky Brook

This relatively flat, senior-friendly course in Somerset County, New Jersey is named after a stream running through the Hutcheson Memorial Forest.

Walking Stick

Not quite sure where the name comes from as the website photos suggest an almost pancake-flat layout in Pueblo, Colorado.

If lists are your thing check out our weather-related golfers’ names and top 10 winner’s jackets too.