Last week?s blog on the joys of solo golf ? that is playing on your own without the distraction of either partners or opponents ? prompted several responses from similarly friendless and anti-social people. Steven Hartridge of Brighton pointed out one of the big pluses that I had omitted. ?If you?re held up or just fancy another hole, you can concede yourself a 145-yard approach for an eagle two, mark down pars for any holes you miss out and walk onto whatever vacant tee takes your fancy.?
Beatrice Beamish of Kirby Muxloe asks, ?Why play 18 when you might only have time for 14 or, more likely since you will be having so much fun, really fancy 22?? She also wonders whether my self-contradicting Solos Golf Society will have a women?s section. Of course it will. But before I?m applauded by females everywhere for my progressive attitude towards the fairer sex, I should perhaps point out that the real appeal of allowing women to join is that we blokes won?t actually have to play with them. Neither, of course, will we have to play with other men. And you just can?t be fairer or more egalitarian than that!
Now that I think about it, we might as well throw the Society open to veterans, children and absolutely anyone capable of hitting a golf ball. There need be no other qualification for gaining entry into what could be both the most welcoming and least sociable golf society in the world. Indeed, we could go global and arrange non-matches with other solo societies from other countries. The possibilities are both enormous and endless.
One of the most prestigious posts in golf would surely be President of the Solos Golf Society. Once again I might need your help in finding the most suitable man, woman or child for the job. Ideally it should go to someone with a proven track record in loneliness. Any time spent in solitary confinement would be a bonus but I don?t think we can make it a requirement. A remarkable lack of popularity is, however, essential and the more I think about it, the more Rory Sabbatini seems an extraordinarily strong candidate. There was a time when Nick Faldo could have walked into the job but since he?s started being nice to people and making friends, he?s looking considerably less appealing.
Does the former Secretary of State for Defense Donald Rumsfeld play golf? I doubt that he?s doing much these days and would probably welcome the challenge of a really responsible job. If any of you know, kindly contact me. Meanwhile, whether you?re in a four, three, two or glorious one, be sure to have fun.