Luke Norman, news editor…

Cue drum rolls, dancing girls (yes please), mass hysteria in the streets and those nifty commemorative tea mugs? THYNNE FRIDAY is back. Oh yes. (Well it?s Thynne Wednesday to be strictly accurate but you can?t argue with soundbites?)

That sly as an urban fox assistant editor and general beer dodger John Thynne Esq (standing for ?Err, squash, quick!?) has been finally been caught on the hop. He may have avoided a reservoir of Tennents, a battered burger and a kicking at the hands of a bunch of medieval jocks in Aberdeen?s salubrious town centre last month by brandishing a sick note from his good missus but he was foolish if he thought he could ever escape.

In a move of immense subtlety and intelligence that can only have come from a woman, travel & lifestyle guru Alicia Harney organised an office trip to Metro Golf on the quiet. Alicia, or Miss Marple as she is now known, then slam-dunked it by announcing the details yesterday, allowing no time for ?Hops-pacifist? Thynne to squirm his way out of it.

So in a matter of hours the GM Dream Team will hit the capital with a simple mission… all check-shirt wearing assistant editors beware. Orders have been placed with all major breweries, Mrs Thynne warned not to expect the main man home for a week or two and Westminster General Infirmary placed on general alert.

He is looking pale already.