How to get jet lag from your living room
- Monday, 7 July 2008
- 0 Comments
Bill Elliot
How to get jet lag from your living room
Somebody on TV said Tiger looked a bit tired after his third-round heroics had lifted Woods to the top of a leaderboard that now has WINNER written all over it. He's tired? Blimey, he ought to try just watching this stuff from where I sit.
Three days into it now and I feel like I've flown the Atlantic at least twice in the last 72 hours. It's compelling stuff but even compelling stuff is failing to stop my eyes drifting shut as it heads towards two o'clock in the morning.
Still, it IS good isn't it. I have now officially stopped being amazed by Tiger. There are now two golf circuits – one is played exclusively by Woods and the other(s) are played by everyone else. How on earth can anyone be as good as this bloke? How can anyone want to be as good as him? And can anybody prevent him winning his 14th Major now?
Well, I think we all know the answers to these questions but, in between yawning as I write this, I would like to suggest that maybe, just maybe, Lee Westwood can sling something close to a tyre-shedder into Woods' path later today. It's terrific to see this decent bloke right up there.
So far he has been playing in the calm outside the perfect storm that has been Tiger's progress in California. Now, however, he is paired with The Great One and so, for Lee, it is going to be a rock'n'roll Sunday as Woods embarks on one of those Jumping Jack Flash trips he loves so much in Majors.
If Lee can withstand all the ballyhoo that will be going on around him, if he can stay focused as he has been to date, if his putter remains calmly effective, if a pig flies over Torrey Pines with a grin on its face, then something big may happen for the Englishman who is to Worksop what Tiger is to the world.
I certainly hope so. I hope also that the Sky golf team gets rid of that precious, pompous music they always use as background stuff at a Major. This is a tiresome habit they have picked up from American TV where major golf events are treated like a cross between the Second Coming and a Presidential announcement.
Get real chaps. It's a flaming golf tournament, nothing more and nothing less. There is no need to dress it up like a royal corgi's dinner. Jazz it up yes, but tone down the reverence for goodness sake. This apart, the pictures are stunning. It's just a pity that the commentary consistently lacks an undertow of what the lads in my pub call wit. Stop being so bloody serious please.
Not that I will find it easy to laugh during my next late night shift. It's next to impossible to yawn, stretch and giggle at the same time. I will, however, be on duty. If you are going to do the same then may I recommend a Petit Chablis and a sharp object with which to prick yourself occasionally. Westwood could do worse than to follow the same advice. Come on Lee, stick it to him pal…
