From the Rough: Deep sea dangers

Clive steps out of his comfort zone this week and finds the depths of the ocean far more terrifying than any thing he has encountered on the golf course.

The overwhelming majority of the most embarrassing moments in my life have occurred on a golf course somewhere or other. It was therefore hugely refreshing that, when visiting Egypt last week to play a couple of delightful courses on the Red Sea, the undisputed low point was reached, not in the rough nor on a fairway, but in the water.

Since snorkelling is undoubtedly the pre-eminent pastime down there, the more conscientious among our small press group decided that it would be rude not to at least try it. After donning all the gear I dived off the edge of the boat hired for the occasion and began ogling the incredible coral and millions of fabulous fish that flourish in these warm waters.

Like golf, it was wonderfully relaxing and I was soon both literally and metaphorically lost in a spectacular aquatic world. After a while, unsure precisely where out boat was anchored, I was relieved to spot another journalist in our group and followed him. As he hadn?t seen me, I decided to play a silly prank and attempted to simulate the bit of an average-sized shark by pinching his calf quite firmly. However, and this is where the embarrassing bit comes it, he wasn?t one of our group at all but some irate foreigner whose understandably hostile response was clearly visible through his steamed-up goggles.

Even though there is the ever-present danger of failing to reach the ladies? tee with a drive, topping a shot into a lake, getting stuck in a bunker, three-putting from four feet and shanking through a clubhouse window, in future I think I?ll stick to golf where at least I am familiar with the attendant hazards.

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