It was about 18 months ago that my addiction started. I was being dragged around a boot-fair by my wife-to-be when I stumbled upon a set of Donnay golf clubs, immediately a stirring inside me occurred and I decided that now was the time for me to take up golf.
Memories of my childhood years flooded back, hours spent day after day on the local pitch and putt during school holidays and the incredible feeling of making my first birdie, albeit on a 50yd par-3. Anyway, I was soon £20 lighter but had acquired my new weapons of choice and was set to embark on my new obsession.
Skip forward to today, I am now a fairly competent golfer and ditched the Donnays long ago in favour of shiny new weapons of grass destruction from the big names and golf is now the dominant force in my life, I am well and truly addicted, some say that I am in need of a visit to rehab to cure me of my obsession.
So why am I an addict? What makes me different from the occasional golfer? & what makes my beloved partner go insane about my mistress of seduction and temptation, she who cannot be resisted, she who stirs up the most deepest urges within me, the urge to be on the golf course.
From the minute I wake up to the moment I sleep golf is never far from my thoughts. Whether it is discussing it with friends, watching it on TV, looking at the GM forum or reading the magazine, golf is always there in the background. My desk is adorned with golf-related goodies, I have a golf calendar on the wall and even my car is proudly decorated with an “I’d rather be driving my golf ball” sticker.
I have without realising started to permanently dress like a golfer, work, home or out to the pub it is always the same, my partner says it is as if I dress this way just in case there is a chance of a crafty few holes at a moments notice, I think she may be right. God forbid we take my car food shopping as there is never any room in the boot as my golf equipment takes pride of place “just in case.”
When I know that a game is imminent I am a bundle of excitement & energy, I sit there willing the clock to move faster until the moment I once again step onto the hallowed turf of my beloved golf club. No matter what the state of my game I am euphoric at just being on the course, and all the time I am going round I am already looking forward to the next game.
The moment I think my partner decided I was insane was when golf started to dominate my dreams. One morning she woke me as I had slept through the alarm, I was angry and annoyed with her, as she had interrupted the most beautiful dream, I was stood over a tap-in putt at St Andrews to claim the holy grail of golf, to lift the claret jug as winner of The Open Championship. Never have I rued waking up so much nor wished to get back to sleep so fast. This is not an isolated incident either, just last night I was paired with Ian Poulter in the Ryder Cup against Phil Mickelson and Jim Furyk.
So what else is there, what other things make me a hopeless golf-a-holic? Could it be that one of my daughters 1st words was golf, is it the fact that any drive through the countryside leads to a conversation of “that bit of land would make a good course”, is it the way that I am constantly doodling new hole designs or is it that people have started telling me to “stop bloody talking about golf!”?
I have tried hard to rationalise my obsession and tell myself that it will soften in time but I know that will not be the case. I am sure that many of you have experienced the emotions I have felt and have had many of the same experiences. All I know is that there is a 3rd woman in my life, yes my partner and my angelic little girl will always come 1st but lurking in the background, mistress golf will always be there, nagging away at me to satisfy my lust for her.