Acting Up: Tempo trouble

George discovers the secret of the perfect golf swing – and manages to hit a few hum-dingers.

Regular readers of my blog (hello mother) will know that I?ve managed to squeeze a golf swing into Chicago the musical. In a bizarre twist of fate, this week I?ve managed to squeeze a bit of Chicago into my golf swing.

We?re performing at the New Victoria Theatre, Woking, a wonderful venue not only for the outstanding auditorium, and the exceptional backstage facilities, but it?s also a 10-minute drive from my house.

The joy of finally spending a protracted period at home with my wife is indescribable. But having been away so long there were obviously things that needed attending to. These mainly involved cleaning, sorting out the garden (after an hour with a machete I finally found the shed) and reminding my daughter she had a father.

All this, I?m afraid, left little time for my favourite pastime. Apart from my indoor practice facility (ie my dressing room) my only golf involved visits to the range between shows after a matinee. Not to worry ? how many times have we read that it is not the quantity of the practice, but the quality? There was also something that I was dying to try.

The night before, whilst watching a teaching programme on the golf channel, a pro advocated humming during your swing. The theory being if you can hum uninterrupted from backswing to follow-through, it shows your body?s relaxed. If you can?t, slow down until you can.

Having had a little trouble with my tempo lately, I couldn?t wait to put it into practice and having warmed up hitting a few wedges, I pulled out an 8-iron and started to hum. Mmmmmmmmmmmm (I believe in the key of A sharp).

Trying to keep my hum constant, especially through impact, proved more difficult than I thought, but by slowing my swing to a nice, even tempo, my hum flowed uninterrupted. I was thrilled with my new find. It was only when I took a sip of water, that I noticed the looks I was getting from the other people on the range. Apparently my humming was not proving as successful an aid for their swings as it was for mine.

Embarrassed, I tried a quieter hum, but this didn?t work either. I then hit on the idea of humming a tune, maybe the monotony of the monotone was the annoyance. After trying a variety of numbers from the scores of South Pacific and West Side Story, it was Razzle Dazzle from Chicago that proved the perfect golfing hum. Unfortunately, not for the man in the next bay who, after noisily collecting his clubs, moved further down the range.

Playing tomorrow, and I?m determined to use the hum on course. And if my partner protests I will inform him that I?m merely rehearsing.

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