Birdies and Bogeys – the golf season proper

GM staffer suggests that the true glory of golf lies in the spine-tingling anticipation and absolute certainty of excellence that occurs before a competitive round.

LUKE NORMAN, news editor (and probable winner of all forthcoming competitive events)

I don?t think I am saying anything too controversial if I put it out there that this has to be the best part of the golfing year. Yeah, yeah there is the Open, the big European events and then the new FedEx Cup on the horizon but what I am really talking about is the golf season proper.

I don?t reckon Howell, Casey, Harrington or any of those pros spend nearly as much time thinking about a Major as I do for any competitive round. It?s daydream heaven the week before a medal. As for the club champs? well you might as well not bother talking to me after Wednesday.

The pre-match is easily my favourite part, in fact that?s why I play the game. It?s all so easy and so goddamn right, when you are sitting on the sofa. Right now I have never been more certain that I will produce a round worthy of Carnoustie in my Brancaster Summer Knockout second round match on Sunday. By the time I actually get to the 1st tee I would have already had at least 60% of my enjoyment out of the round.

The office is awash with club Open forms, medal applications and GM Order of Merit tables. But he who must be obeyed head has just produced the absolute cherry-Garcia on top of our steaming pavlova of golfing ecstasy ? we are all heading to Royal North Devon for the August Bank Holiday to take part in the oldest club silver medal of them all, ever, anywhere? you get the picture.

That?s a whole 1,512 hours of anticipation. Imagine how immensely amusing my winners speech will be by then! I would have found a way to birdie every hole eight different ways (what did people do before the internet and hole-by-hole guides?), laughed myself unconscious at Paul O?Hagan (staff writer) ape-like stance, consistently out-driven my boss and certainly enjoyed a few reflective pints ? all by the end of July.

In fact I don?t even have to turn up to get my £22 entry fee?s worth of fun. What a great game.

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