We get the data to reveal the golfers' view of Brexit
With the Brexit debate getting increasingly acrimonious and silly, we at Golf Monthly thought we‘d have a stab at helping our readers understand which way the June 23 referendum vote will go. So – what is the golfers’ view of Brexit?
Well, in passing, we believe Mr Cameron has missed an opportunity. Instead of banging on with Project Fear, he should have highlighted the advantages of co-operation with our European partners.
Cameron’s a golfer, so will be aware that when we played in the Ryder Cup as little ol’ GB & Ireland we almost invariably lost. But since we became part of the European juggernaut we hardly ever do.
But that does not help us with formulating our own GM Brexit opinion poll, of course.
So using my long-ago acquired degree in Economics and Politics from Durham – yes, there were some decent golf courses around Durham – I have decided to make my debut as a political commentator.
Now the thing, I’m told, any aspiring political journo needs is good contacts. Fortunately I know a splendid chap at Royal & Awesome called Howa….
Whoops, bit of naivety there. You don’t say that do you if you are a proper political journo. You say things like “sources close to Royal & Awesome” or, “friends of Royal & Awesome.”
Well, friends of Royal & Awesome have helped with some key data.
Royal & Awesome have some splendidly vivid trouser designs for the golfer who, well, as one who wears many of their designs, I like to think are for the golfer who is stylish, chic, elegant.
In support of this, I will point out that I am just back from a golf trip to Paris, the capital of chic, and I won a prize from our hosts for the best trousers. Pretty conclusive proof eh?
(Well it is, if you ignore the fact that I simultaneously won an award for the worst trousers).
Specifically my mole at Royal & Awesome was able to smuggle out some top-secret info, which may solve the issue of which way we will vote on 23 June.
Royal & Awesome have two designs of practical relevance to the tea-leaf reading aspiring political journo. They first is Trew Brit , the second is Eurostar.
So how do the sales stack up? Are the Brits showing their love of Europe by their trousering, or are they worried that Brexit will come, and a purchase of a pair of Eurostar trews will leave them left with the garb of an ancien régime?
Well, sources close to Royal & Awesome say that in the UK the sales opinion polls fall 58 to 42 in favour of Trew Brit.
President Obama popped over to Britain recently to have some selfies with the Royal Family and to play golf with David Cameron. (If you are looking for more golfing omens, Cameron lost).
The President also took time off from this schedule to tell the Brits that they were not important, and if they left the EU America would probably forget that the UK even existed.
But do his fellow Americans agree with him? Well perhaps they do indeed, as in the USA our golf trousers sales opinion poll runs a whopping 69 to 31 in favour of Eurostars.
The Americans fought to be independent, to get rid of our monarchy. But one country that has remained faithful to the motherland‘s monarch is Australia, but here again Eurostar also trumps Trew Brit, by 53 to 47.
So that clearly shows the world’s golfing trouser buyers favour the EU over the UK, but the UK sees itself as Trew Brits not European stars.
Interestingly – well perhaps a loose use of the word, but loose talk has been a feature of the referendum – the aggregate worldwide sales for Eurostars and Trew Brits are almost equal. In fact there was only a single pair of trousers in it…
…And Trew Brit wins…
…So that’s it – the golfers’ view of Brexit is that the UK will vote for independence on 23 June, by the narrowest of margins – not so much by a short head, but by two trouser legs.
And if we do vote for Brexit, perhaps UK buyers can pick up some cheap Eurostar trews from those splendid fellows at Royal & Awesome? Maybe, the Ryder Cup team could pick up a cheap set for their team uniform?