Clive packs his sticks and his press pass and heads for the Algarve, blissfully unaware that this is no ordinary press trip and his dreams of a few gentle strolls around the links are about to be shattered.

Fergus tees off for a 36-hole foursomes stroke play competition and disaster strikes as early as the very first shot ? a hole-in-one. The curse is well and truly put on the rest of the round.

George is caught by wife and daughter inflagrante in a clothes shop changing room at the top of his backswing ? this prompts the self-posed question: obsessed or just dedicated?

One member of the GM staff confesses to dreaming about senior members of the R&A, while the rest reflect on the old adage: “Too much to do and not enough time.”