The Masters is a unique event blessed with behaviour-altering powers for even the most resolute of golfers. Here’s how your life may change in early April
Yes, the 52-week tour may have been in place on both sides of the Atlantic for many years, but nothing will ever stop The Masters being the real start of the season, bringing even the most fair-weather of golfers rapidly out of hibernation. Check out our full Masters 2015 coverage here… meanwhile, 10 reasons why your life will change from April 9th to 12th
1. Friday night is pub night… or not
Tempting though a jar or two with your mates down the pub may sound, as seven o’clock looms and Sky’s coverage is about to burst forth, you know you’re going to be on the phone saying, “Sorry, lads, I think I’ll give it a miss tonight.”
2. It’s Sandy time again
Most of us have little interest in Senior golf but when it comes to The Masters, suddenly the unexpected exploits of a certain revered former champion take on renewed significance. It usually only lasts one round, as in Sandy’s 2010 opening gambit of 69, 86, but in fairness, the likeable Scot has made the cut the last two years.
3. You will end up poorer
If not for the bets you have continually chased and placed live from your lounge, then because on Monday morning, you will feel inspired do one of the following: 1) Book a series of golf lessons because this is going to be ‘the year’; 2) Finally order that new set of irons you’ve been eyeing up: 3) Book a golf break somewhere suitably expensive.
4. Your wife will impress you
Never one to knowingly take an interest in the game, your other half will suddenly become golf-savvy for four days, and may even impress you with her unexpected knowledge of scores and standings, especially in the case of Adam Scott…
5. You will impress your wife
At some stage the two of you will be sitting there together just as someone’s ball lands quite close. “That was a good shot,” she’ll say. “Ah, yes,” you’ll reply. “But on that hole he’ll be lucky to keep it on the green from there let alone hole it.” Cue admiring look.
6. Longing for extra time
Every other week of the year on the PGA Tour, you’ll be willing someone to break clear down the stretch so you don’t feel morally obliged to watch Jason Bohn take down Brendon Todd and Chris Kirk in a tedious four-hole play-off. In Masters week, you’ll be willing someone to birdie the last to tie, so the excitement doesn’t have to end just yet.
7. Meals on the couch
Even if you’re most particular about evening meals being taken at the dining table, that will all go out of the window for four days as it just won’t be physically possible to drag yourself away from the couch. Keep it simple though, with nothing too messy.
8. Patrons not fans
By the end of the week you will be unable to stop yourself referring to spectators or fans as patrons, such will have been the frequency with which you have heard the word.
9. Flashback time
Throughout the four days you will get constant flashbacks to Masters past, fondly remembering where you were, who you were with and so on. Who can forget Steve Rider’s hair flapping about uncontrollably in the good old days of the BBC’s outside studio?
10. The virtual yips
Clinical trials have shown that it is possible for a mildly nervy putter to develop the full-blown yips just watching players attempt some of the more ludicrous putts at Augusta National… not really, but you know what we mean.